hellorousseau

an eloquently warped point of view from the tongue of a cartoon character.

Tag: body acceptance

Consistently Inconsistant Confidence

One morning I woke up and cringed.

1. My unibrow was beginning to grow in, and my left eyebrow was racing straight upwards.
2. I hadn’t bleached the hair on my upper lip.
3. My curls were knotted, and then knotted again, and then knotted a third time.
4. I had two zits- one right beside the other- on my otherwise clear skin.
5. I could make out the scar in the middle of my forehead from an unfortunate USB flash drive incident.
6. The writing on my hand from my notes yesterday was smooshed on my face like some silly putty distorting an imprinted comic.

I didn’t look normal- I looked ugly. And those were just the facial issues.

I wasn’t happy with my appearance. I felt gross, lumpy, out of place, and ugly. Despite the hundreds of dollars I’ve spent on cosmetics, the relatively positive attitude I have, and my consistant beauty routines, I felt gross that day.

When I went out in public, I couldn’t help but spot my damn reflection in every surface I passed.

1. I walked beside a shiny car window.
2. The food court table at the mall was obnoxiously clean.
3. Some woman infront of me at Starbucks opened her compact.
4. I accidentally wandered into the mirror room at my dad’s store (seriously; mirrors, like, everywhere).

I probably even caught my reflection in a client’s lipgloss at work while I showed them how to shade in their eyebrows. Or when I drank that cup of water. Or in the microwave while heating up my leftover Chinese food. (Side Note: If you haven’t already, please please please go and eat at Evergreen Restaurant on Pembina. The food is unreal. Ask for ginger and green onion sauce– then pour it on everything. Or eat it with a spoon like my friend Amanda does. Either way works.)

It bummed me out. Especially since lately I thought I looked, oh, I dunno…

Pretty?

But I knew this was normal. I knew that in a few days, I’d wake up and look in the mirror to see myself as some glowing goddess of chipped teeth and dry hair, with permanent bra-strap-shoulder-gutters and too much blush. I knew that I’d walk past a reflective surface, and greet my mirror self with admiration- not pity. I knew this because I’m trying to be body confident,

and some days, body confidence means not really liking yourself.

To quote Chloe Vickar, a previous contributor to my blog“Body positivity is a package deal — one simply cannot have the good days without the bad.”

Even the most confident people in the world are bound to feel miserable with themselves from time to time. I guarantee that everyone out there has had a day when they feel like the most perfect version of themselves, and others when they only see their least favourite features.

Body confidence is not a definite thing- it’s not like you either have it or you don’t. Some people have a lot of confidence, others a pocket full, and others an ounce. Some people have it all the time, others have it never, and some have it day-to-day. My goal for self love is not to be the perfect version of myself, but rather the version of myself I’m comfortable with that day. Rather than correcting the flaws or working on my thunder thighs or shaving my ‘stache, I’ve began trying to embrace parts of myself that other people may not find pretty. I’m trying to accept what I have on a daily basis.

Some days, I’m a pageant beauty queen. Other days, I’m pageant runner-up.

Other days I’m a cat.

My soon to be sister-in-law Laura sent me photo series by photographer Gracie Hagen.

Illusions of the Body (warning: nudity), ” was made to tackle the supposed norms of what we think our bodies are supposed to look like. Most of us realize that the media displays only the prettiest photos of people, yet we compare ourselves to those images. We never get to see those photos juxtaposed against a picture of that same person looking unflattering. That contrast would help a lot of body image issues we as a culture have…

Celebrate your shapes, sizes & the odd contortions your body can get itself into. The human body is a weird & beautiful thing.”

Powerhouse Princess

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“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

When I wear my 5.25″ Jeffrey Campbell Lita‘s, I’m around 6 feet tall.

When Jess wears a shoe that’s 5.25″, she’s 5’3″.

She may be small, but Jessica K. is a force to be reckoned with (clichéééééé).
The 21-year-old University of W. student studies business, and speaks strongly for women’s rights. She is an avid horror movie enthusiast, makeup lover, and insists that she’s team Star Trek and team Star Wars. Jess is a passionate, well-spoken feminist, who believes in body-modification and the right to wear whatever the hell you want.

jess2

Pictured: Queen of Cute Body Modifications.

Body positivity to me is body acceptance, and not just your own. Being able to accept that not only are bodies beautiful, but that they’re all different. Once you can accept and appreciate that, rather than focusing on minor insecurities with yourself, body positivity is innate. Body positivity is promoting and encouraging other women, and men, to have a healthy outlook on themselves.

Our generation has grown up in a society (that includes the media, politics, and our peers), that as women, our bodies and our beauty is one of the most important aspects of our entire lives. A beautiful body has changed rapidly from being curvaceous and full bodied, to skinny and toned. Body positivity isn’t telling your friend, “Don’t worry if you’re boobs are small- some guys like that too!”, it’s telling her that if she’s happy with her body, you support her 100%. If she’s not happy with her body, you should be a crutch, and support her with her choices.

I don’t think that any one person is permanently confident. My confidence levels change on a day to day basis; it’s not always pertaining to my appearance.

When it comes to how I look, my confidence comes from how I treat myself. When I’m working out, I feel amazing, my body feels amazing, and it’s really an indescribable feeling to be content and actually happy with who you are. But to contest that, my intellectual property is also really important to me. Having a full course load of studies, and getting grades better than I thought I would, is something that makes me feel better than feeling pretty. I try to stay confident by always trying to better myself.

Confidence also comes from make-up. I don’t think it makes me prettier, I don’t wear it because I’m insecure, but I know how to do a mean winged liner, and when I’m rocking it, I feel sexy and confident. Even though my demeanour is at a whopping 4’11”, I feel like I can see over everyone else.

My favourite physical features are my nipples. I have them both pierced and tattooed. They’re by far my favourite attribute. They’re hidden, and no one knows they’re there; they’re my little secret. I’m not a quiet, submissive, passive woman; I’m outspoken (and polite), but I love that my nipples are a piece of me that are just for me (and my awesome boyfriend).

I wouldn’t say that my modifications have boosted my confidence too much. But, I’ve taken pieces of my body that I wasn’t necessarily in love with, (but could not change unless I had surgery) and tattooed, pierced, and changed them. They became pieces of me that I love more than anything. They became pieces of me I love to flaunt- and it does make me feel better to show them off.
I also have my tattoos and piercings that cannot be seen unless I show you. I like having a bit of secrecy and control of how I am perceived.”

TIPS FROM A PRO:
Please, please, please do research to find the right artist! Never settle on the picture if it’s not exactly what you had in mind, and don’t be nervous about regretting it! I have never gotten a tattoo that has any meaning to me, because if they have no meaning, they can have no regret. I loved the art that’s on my body before it was tattooed on me.
My advice would just be to make sure it’s what you want. Don’t let your friends change your mind. Listen to any feedback your artist has- it’s their job, not yours.

This is how this body-modified powerhouse stays body positive.

“Believe in Your Eyebrows”

ImageFor my writers craft class, we had to write a paper in the form of a This I Believe essay. Basically, you talk about something you’re really passionate about; something that you truly believe in.

I decided to write about topics that intertwined with my blog, seeing as I’m passionate about self acceptance. I’d also like to give colossal props to my incredibly talented classmates who moved me to tears with their essays.

I Believe-

I believe in total body acceptance. I believe in the self-expressive twitch that drives fat women to skin tight dresses, and thin women to big, baggy, blue jeans. I believe in allowing a person, no matter their size, age, or gender, to adorn a pair of heels, slap on a pound of makeup, and not shave their legs for three-and-a-half months. I believe in wearing as little clothing as possible, and I believe in wearing as much clothing as possible. I believe in looking however the hell you want.

I used to draw my eyebrows in black. I’d shade, sketch and smooth my big ol’ ‘brows. I liked them dark and thick and cartoony. When I’d go into public, people would stare, and then people started to comment. They were taken aback by my decision to look the way I wanted. I started doing my eyebrows thinner and lighter to avoid public speculation, and then I stopped all together. I let stranger’s opinions spoil my confidence. Total body acceptance means respecting other people’s choices.

A lot of us body shame without knowing it. Saying things like, “She would be so pretty if…”, judging other people’s clothes, and playing dietitian are harmful vehicles that contribute to low self esteem. Total body acceptance means keeping your opinion to yourself.

Do not shame those who choose unusual adornments over a cookie-cutter social norm, and visa-versa. Self expression and confidence come in many different shapes and sizes, and what may give you a boost of self admiration is not the same for the person next to you. Difference in appearance and clothing is a good thing; thinking less of someone because of their difference in appearance and clothing, is not. Total body acceptance is admiring the self-expression of others

So acknowledge the differences that separate us from one another. Do not comment on the shortness of shorts, or the longness of dresses, but rather, admire the spirit of the person in that clothing. Do not judge the thickness, or lack of makeup, but the lips on the face that speak stories and valuable experience. Trust in the self expressive twitch that will drive you to dress up in bright colours, be edgy in black, or comfortably naked. Believe in the power of your favourite shirt, shoes, or hairstyle, regardless of other’s opinions. Believe in your fat areas, your thin areas. Believe in your choices. Believe in your eyebrows. Believe in total body acceptance.